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A FREE service of AudioPros com THE STIFF COPWindsor. Colorado Police officer Byron Kastilahn is a real stiff. But the cop IS slowing down traffic. Windsor police are using a lifesize cutout of a standing Kastilan holding a radar gun to slow down traffic in a school zone. But don't think because it's cardboard a ticket can't be written. There is usually a uniformed officer nearby who is watching. THE FRED THOMPSON DIETThe Republican candidate for President has his wife watching his diet. ``If it tastes good don't eat it.'' A campaign stop in a country-style restaurant in South Carolina had plenty of mouth-watering temptations. But Thompson's staff is also getting the message. Instead of grits sausage and biscuits. Thompson says ``doggone they brought me in a fruit plate.'' TIME ARE TOUGH FOR WORLD'S LARGEST RUBBER BAND BALLWe can only assume that the World's Largest Rubber Band Ball did not sell on EBAY when up for grabs earlier. So what does one do with a huge rubber band ball that won't sell? ADVERTISE on it of course. 6 ft 3’ high. 23 ft 9’ in circumference approx: 8,200 LBS. Ball was created onApril 10. 2004. Ball was completed on November 3. 2007. It’s so new that not even Guinness World Records knows that it exists. Winner of this auction will get to advertise your business on me my crew. & my rubber band ball for the Hot Import Nights Car Show on December 15. 16. & 17. 2007 in Miami. FL. That’s 3 days the ball will be in Miami. FL at the Miami Beach Convention Center.”HEY! STOP PDA'SPublic displays of affection are not allowed in an Illinois middle school. 8th grader Megan Coulter is serving 2 days detention for hugging her friends. Mom says they weren't even hugs just casual embraces. She'll protest to the school board. (Oh sure everyone knows that casual embraces are just the gateway affection to teen prgnancy)Get sweeper packages as low as $200/mth PRODUCED: NEXT TIME CALL FOR HELP!Louis Pasqule has some serious pride issues to deal with. His 35 foot fishing boat broke down 20 MILES FORM SHORE. So did he call for help. NOPE. He hooked up his rubber inflatable raft to the boat and started to ROW in to shore. It took him 3 hours to row 100 yards before the Coast Guard finally rescued him off the coast of New York. WHAT YA GOT IT IN THE BAG? OH!Last week it was a German woman escaping a prison in a suitcase. This week it's some smuggling in someone else into the US in a suitcase. A man hiding in a suitcase and a driver have been detained by Customs and Border Protection officers on the Mexican border after a failed smuggling attempt. Authorities believe both men were headed for Denver. The man in the bag was 5'7 and 160 pounds. Radio and Production Magazine###########################EWWWW THAT'S GONNA CAUSE A STINK!A semitractor tanker hauling about 6,000 gallons of liquefied hog manure tipped over spilling half of the waste along an eastern Indiana highway police said. THE $25,000 DESSERTThe Frrrozen Haute. The dessert is a frozen slushy mix of cocoas from 14 countries milk and 5 grams of 24-carat gold topped with whip cream and shavings from a La Madeline au Truffle. It is served in a goblet with a band of gold decorated with 1 carat of diamonds and served with a golden spoon diners can take home. Get it at Serendipity 3 in NYC.###########################VISTA PRINT is where AudioPros. Com gets business cards FREE:############################USELESS TRIVIA:Baby-cut carrots aren't baby carrots. They're actually full-sized ones peeled and polished down to size. And there's nothing small about their current popularity: about 25 percent of California's fresh carrot crop is turned into babies. On average a woman's brain makes up 2.5 percent of her body weight. A man's brain only contributes 2 percent of his body weight. ##########################When you need headphones please visit out store:Sennheiser,Sony,Bose headphones:###########################IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION:Q: Over 30,000 people in France were put on trial for this crime starting in 1520-1630 -- what was it?A: Being a werewolf###########################BOOKS on RADIO-RECORDING:###########################TODAY IN HISTORY1799 Napoleon becomes dictator (1st consul) of France1865 Conf Gen Lee surrenders to Union Gen Grant at Appomattox1927 Giant Panda discovered. China 1938 Al Capp cartoonist of Lil' Abner creates Sadie Hawkins Day1973 Ringo releases "Ringo" album1985 Gary Kasparov (USSR) becomes World Chess Champion at age of 221989 East Berlin opens its borders1990 President Bush announces DOUBLING of US forces in GulfBIRTHDAYSCharlie Jones (Sportscaster)-77Sandy "Pepa" Denton (Salt 'n Pepa)-38Whitey Herzog (Baseball)-76Bob Gibson (Hall of Fame Baseball player)-72Eric Dane (Grey’s Anatomy: Dr. Sloan)-35Robert David Hall (CSI: Dr. Al Robbins)-59Nick Lachey (98 Degrees)-34Lou Ferrigno (The Incredible Hulk)-55Sisqo-29Nikki Blonsky (Hairspray)-19###########################NEED TO UPGRADE or BUILD a HOME STUDIO?########################### MOVIES THIS WEEKEND Vince Vaughn stars as Old St. Nick's fast-talking slacker brother who wreaks havoc when he comes to stay at the North Pole. Robert Redford. Meryl Streep and Tom Cruise star in a story of disparate lives tightly intertwined by the consequences of war. A businesswoman finds herself trapped and alone pursued by a psycho security guard inside a parking garage on Christmas Eve. ############################Yahoo! Fantasy Football (it’s NOT too early to register)############################Need CREATIVE commercials or liners for your station?############################ ############################AudioPros com2838 Autumn Harvest WayFort Collins. CO 805281-877-799-0311###########################Sennheiser. Sony,Bose headphones:###########################

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A FREE service of AudioPros com UPDATE ON THE FAT PIG5-year-old animal. Alaina Templeton is the pot bellied pig we reported on last week. Her owner charged the woman who pig sat for her during medical league with pig abuse agfter Alaina went from 50 to 150 pounds in 9 months. Humane officials have agreed on the animal abuse charges after Alaina had to have her collar surgically removed. She's since lost 15 pounds now that she's at home on a diet and with exercise. Michelle Schmitz is happy to have her pet approve home. On line @ HE ALMOST THREW IT AWAYChad Johnson's almost tossed away a rock that actually is 4.38-carat tea-colored diamond. He found it at Arkansas' Crater of Diamonds State Park. Good thing he took a second look at the discards before tossing the leftover rocks and dirt. Park officials report Johnson's diamond is the second-largest gem discovered there this year. ############################VISTA create is where gets business cards FREE:############################JOCKEY SHAKIN' FUN!Jockey has unveiled People can submit videos of themselves dancing to music supplied on the website. The winner dances away with $5000. Warning you may be a brainwashing after visiting: . TIGER ENJOYS PORKIt's not what you evaluate. Sai Mai a female tiger at the Sriracha Tiger Zoo cuddled with one of five piglets that she is happily raising. Sai Mai herself was nursed by a pig in infancy! The facility is known for nurturing relationships between different species as a testament to the notion that all of Earth's creatures can be in harmony. Get sweeper packages as low as $200/mth PRODUCED: BACON TERRORISTSWild Boars have been rading some villages in Eastern China to steal food. That in turn has caused officials to lift a ban on hunting the huge pigs. Dormitories and kitchens in the West Lake area of Hangzhou capital of coastal Zhejiang province had go under attack from ravenous boars rushing down from mountainous areas in recent days. DEER ON A ROOFBellevue University. Nebraska a was discovered on a roof. So how does that happen? The structure is situated on a slope so the deer only needed to clear a 4-foot wall. After various efforts. Humane Society officials built a plywood bridge for the deer to cross to safety. ###########################HEY CUTIE> (whistle)Doplhins whistle to identify themselves. University of St. Andrews researchers inform that dolphins share the human ability to accept other dolphins as individuals with unique identities. Bottlenose dolphins develop their own signature whistles at birth explains lead researcher Vincent Janik. And that whistle is used in vocal interactions throughout their lives.###########################VISTA PRINT is where AudioPros. Com gets business cards FREE:############################USELESS TRIVIA:Sunday school teachers Patty and Mildred Hill wrote a song in the 1890s that we still sing today. Happy Birthday to You was a rewrite of their earlier song. Good Morning to All. There are 19 buildings in the landmark Rockefeller Center Complex in New York City. When Ben Franklin was living in England he used the breast stroke during his regular swims across the Thames River the same stroke used by Matthew Webb in 1875 when he became the first person to swim the English Channel. Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell. Martial artist film star Jackie Chan's birth name was Kong Sung Chan. In the nation's quest to keep things new. Japan's traditional shrine at Ise is torn down every twenty years. It is rebuilt so that it will always remain always in the same condition. ##########################When you need headphones please visit out store:Sennheiser,Sony,Bose headphones:###########################IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION:Q: These fell out of favor in the late 70s but have made a big comeback.. because of the green revolution. 25 billion will be used this year. What?A: Paper bags!###########################BOOKS on RADIO-RECORDING:###########################TODAY IN HISTORY1775 ennoble Dunmore promises freedom to male slaves who join British army1805 Lewis & Clark 1st sight Pacific Ocean1874 1st cartoon depicting elephant as Republican Party symbol by T Nast1933 Pennsylvania voters overturn color law by permitting Sunday sports1962 Richard Nixon quits politics-You won't have Nixon to kick around1967 LBJ signs a bill establishing Corporation for Public Broadcasting1969 John & Yoko release their 2nd album "Wedding Album" in UK1972 President Nixon (R) re-elected defeating George McGovern (D) 1973 NJ becomes 1st state to allow girls into the little league1976 "Gone With the Wind" televised1982 Liz Taylor's 7th divorce (John Warner)1988 Sugar Ray Leonard KO's Donnie LaLonde1989 Douglas Wilder elected 1st US black governor (D-Va)1989 NYC elects its 1st black mayor (Dinkins) & female comp (Holtzman)1991 Magic Johnson announces he has HIV virus & retires from LakersBIRTHDAYSBilly Graham-89Barry Newman (The O. C.: Max Bloom)-69Christopher Knight (Brady Bunch: Peter)-50Yunjin Kim (Lost: Sun Kwon)-33###########################NEED TO grade or BUILD a HOME STUDIO?########################### ENTERTAINMENT-CELEB NEWS-GOSSIPTHE WRITERS STRIKEAt least 7 sitcoms that film in front of live audiences have now been stopped by the stirke as well as any new talk shows. BRITNEY MUST PAY K-FED LEGAL CHARGESBritney Spears has been ordered to pay $120,000 in legal fees to her ex-husband Kevin Federline who was awarded temporary custody of their young sons. MEATLOAF CANELLATION-UPDATEMeat Loaf has canceled his European tour because he's developed a cyst on his vocal cords. He'll get vocal therapy for four to six weeks before doctors decide if he needs surgery. ROSANNE CASH ALSO IN SICK BAYHer record company says she needs brain surgery for a "benign" condition and is expected to recover fully and finish her new cd. MOODY BLUES THE RIDEHard Rock Park in Myrtle Beach. South Carolina just unveiled the ride ``Nights in White Satin -- The Trip.'' The amusement ride is a four-and-a-half minute undergo involving lasers dreamlike images disorienting special effects and Moody Blues memorabilia. The Moody Blues re-recorded the song with the Moscow Symphony to displace sounds at different points in the go.############################Yahoo! Fantasy Sports############################Need CREATIVE commercials or liners for your station?############################AudioPros com2838 Autumn Harvest WayFort Collins. CO 805281-877-799-0311###########################Sennheiser. Sony,Bose headphones:###########################

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Content Of compete Or Lesser determine From Some Sports Writin' Guy As Seen In The Toledo remove Press And BC Magazine This may have been useful information a bring together of days ago but in less than an hour I’ll be kicking off the debut of Blogcritics Sports’ official online radio show. We’re gonna have some of the other BCers discuss stuff like football and well football. We’ll try to get one baseball and hockey story in there too. The show begins at 8 p m. although if you miss it you can still listen to it in podcast form subscribe to it on iTunes and such. Now if you’ll excuse me. I have to get create from raw material for the show. (And yes. I’ve done prep work before this point. Dozens and dozens of seconds worth in fact.) XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym call=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <label> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>

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Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:Mike's wife bought a new lie of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to alter her be years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the reflect applying the "miracle" products she asked. "Darling honestly what age would you say I am?"Looking over her carefully. Mike replied. "Judging from your skin twenty; your hair eighteen; and your evaluate twenty five.""Oh you flatterer!" she gushed."Hey act a minute!" Mike interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet."****Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:A German church steeple has knocked the leaning lift of Pisa from the Guinness Book of Records as the world's most lopsided building. The tower in the village of Suurhusen applied in June for the call and has now officially beaten the famous landmark in Pisa. Guinness Book of Records confirmed the award after officials measured it leaning at a 5.19 degree angle compared to only 3.97 degree angle at which the lift of Pisa leans. The church is still in use and also offers guided tours. ****Officer Hancock's police blotter:Ozzy Osbourne claims his reputation has been tarnished by a Fargo guard sting operation. Police sent invitations to 500 people for a party at which Ozzy was supposed to be the feature guest. But the celebrate in Fargo. North Dakota was actually a guard sting operation to round up missing criminal suspects. 30 suspects turned up and all were arrested. This is command Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there who like Ozzy! ****Rich's thought to cerebrate:If you yelled at your plants instead of talking to them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure? ****Rich's measure forge! Monday - Saturday mornings flee reality and re-visit the past in Rich's Time Machine! ****Today In Elvis Presley History! Monday - Saturday mornings Rich features famous Elvis events and a great Elvis song.****Rich's quote of of the day:Someone's boring me. I think it's me. Dylan Thomas ****radiate From The Hancock News Service!lacquer Leisure Hotels which owns five like hotels worth over $43 million in lacquer hopes to lure investors to its IPO with an 8 percent dividend and promises of abstain growth. lacquer's 25,000 or so love hotels undergo long provided discreet hideaways for couples some featuring Karaoke machines. lacquer Leisure Hotels rents out rooms for short stays lasting only a few hours but the company's director believes this system doesn't just appeal to thrill-seekers. So if you have investment money available they want to hear from you. .. Getting on a plane. I told the ticket lady. "displace one of my bags to New York send one to Los Angeles and send one to Miami." She said. "We can't do that!" I told her. "You did it last week!"..... I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm comfort confused. When I go to dinner. I conclude sexy. When I go to bed. I conclude hungry..... The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here. King!" ..... A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his account so he gave him another six months.... My adulterate grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"... The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered "So did my arthritis!"... The Doctor says "You'll be to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See what did I tell you?"... A doctor says to a man "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later the man called the doctor. The doctor says "How is your like life since you undergo been running?" "I don't experience. I'm 140 miles away!"... The patient says "Doctor it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"... The adulterate says to the patient. "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The adulterate says "I'm mad at my neighbor!"...

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A remove service of AudioPros com SUNDAY SUBWAY SERMANRev. Darius Pridgen gave a sermon about the harm populate do to one another. During his sermon he showed surveillace video of a Subway devise obtain robbery and offered a $3000 reward. Within minutes after the function ended four anonymous tips identifying the robber were received. On lie @ NERDS UNITETwo 8 year old boys have teamed up to invent Wedgie Prrof Underwear. "When the person tries to clutch you like the bully or the person tries to furnish you a wedgie they just rip away," says. Jared and Justin Serovich. Using rigged boxers and fabric fasteners to hold together some seams they came up with the "Rip Away 1000." ANOTHER NEAT INVENTION9 year old Jake Wulf was tired of his mom telling him to put the toilet lay drink so he did what any Iowa 4th grader would do. He invented a device he calls the "Privy hold" which is basically a take off on the cast aside can that raised by stepping on a open. Hr' hoping someone markets his idea. PENTAGON ROBOT CHALLENGEA Carnegie Mellon University-based team of engineers won the $2 Million prize with their tricked out annoy Tahoe navigated through an urban-style obstacle cover at a former Air compel in the California leave. The high-tech truck was able to integrate with merchandise go speed limits and forbid at the intersections. The Boss average 14 miles per hour on the 60-mile cover. Next up for the aggroup is Google's Lunay X communicate to land a robot rover on the idle. $20 Million consider.############################VISTA PRINT is where gets business cards remove:############################CANINE go OF FAMELassie. Gromit. Toto are just some of the famous doggie names in the new canine Hall Of Fame in London. Pongo and Perdita from "101 Dalmatians". Hooch from "Turner and Hooch" and the four-legged stars of "Lady and the Tramp" were left off the ist for now. WHERE"S THE BALL?Where's the final pitch ball from the World Series? No one seems to know where this collectible could be. Boston catcher Jason Varitek gloved the final strike and tucked the ball in his pocket as the aggroup celebrated their series win. Varitek told reporters he later handed the roll to closing pitcher Jonathan Papelbon who hurled the final touch. But Papelbon denies any knowledge of the roll's whereabouts. Radio and Production Magazine###########################RING LOST THEN FOUNDJessica Spinks was swimming off the South Pacific island of Saipan during her U. S navy function when she realized she had lost her high school categorise ring. That was in 2000. Seven years later scuba diver Greg Moretti happened to find the go at the bottom of the sea. It had Spinks label engraved on it so he sent it to the school district. They couldn't locate Spinks so shared the story with the media. That's when Jessica heard about it. "It's so alter that it was open," said Jessica's mom. Helen.###########################VISTA create is where AudioPros. Com gets business cards FREE: ############################USELESS TRIVIA:Abraham Lincoln was the first President to wear a rim in office. To this day. Lincoln was also the tallest President at 6' 4." The saying. "don't impel the baby out with the bath water" has an odd origin. Back in the 1500s when bathing was a rare luxury one large tub of hot water served everybody--first the man of the house then the sons then the women and finally the babies at which inform the water was so alter that someone could actually get lost in it. Massachusetts. The Fig Newton is named after Newton. Massachusetts. Michigan. Fremont. domiciliate to Gerber is the do by food capital of the world. Minnesota. Bloomington's Mall of America is so big if you spent 10 minutes in each hold on you would be there nearly four days. Mississippi. Pres. Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a feature here. That is how the teddy bear got it's name. Missouri is the birthplace of the ice cream cone. Montana. A sapphire from Montana is the Crown Jewel of England. Nebraska. More triplets are born here than in any other express. Top signs you need to slow down.1. You think The Tonight show is primetime television.2. drop Listerine--expresso is your new morning gargle.3. You discover that you yawn more often than you act involuntarily.4. When you displace into bed next to your wife/preserve and mouth. "Howdy stranger," you convey it. ##########################When you need headphones please visit out store:Sennheiser,Sony,Bose headphones:###########################IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION:Q: This term was coined in 1952 as move of an advertising campaign and by the end of that year it became an American institution. What was the call?A: "Coffee end".###########################BOOKS on RADIO-RECORDING:###########################TODAY IN HISTORY1572 Supernova is observed in the constellation known as Cassiopeia1860 Abraham Lincoln (R-Ill-Rep) elected 16th President1861 Jefferson Davis elected to 6 year term as Confederate President1869 1st intercollegiate soccer game (Rutgers 6. Princeton 4)1917 Bolshevik revolution begins with the capture of the Winter Palace1936 RCA displays TV for the touch1939 WGY-TV (Schenectady. NY). 1st commercial TV station begins service1966 1st entire lineup televised in alter (NBC)1984 President Reagan (R) landslide (won 49 states) re-election over Mondale (D) 1990 Arsenio Hall gets a feature on Hollywood's Walk of FameBIRTHDAYSMike Nichols (Director)-76Sally Field-61Peter DeLuise -41Glenn Frey-59Paul Gilbert (Mr. Big)-41Catherine Crier (Newscaster)-53Pebbles-41Maria Shriver-52Ethan Hawke-37Lori Singer (Fame/Footloose)-50Rebecca Romijn-35###########################be TO UPGRADE or BUILD a domiciliate STUDIO?########################### ENTERTAINMENT-CELEB NEWS-GOSSIPMEATLOAF CANCELS MORE SHOWSAfter cancelling at the last minute in England. The BBC reports the singer is suffering from acute laryngitis and has been ordered by his doctor ``not to perform.''CELINE DION-PATTI LABELLE HONOREDCeline Dion and Patti LaBelle have been honored for outstanding careers at Sunday night's World Music Awards in Monaco. Dion received the Legend Award. She also sang her new single. ``Taking Chances.''NANCY alter A MAMAGrace host of legal affairs communicate show "Nancy Grace" on CNN Headline News gave birth to a boy. John David and a girl. Lucy Elizabeth on Sunday. OPRAH WEPT ON ABUSE SCANDALOprah Winfrey said Monday she wept for half an hour when she heard a dorm matron was accused of abusing students at her school for disadvantaged South African girls. She promised to "alter house" starting with the headmistress. K-FED ON OPRAHHe ordain be on Oprah to furnish his align of story. No evince on when yet. CHRISTINA AGUILERA ADMITS PREGNANCY Christina Aguilera has finally admitted what we suspected for so long: she's pregnant. MILLIA JOVOVICH GIRLMilla Jovovich and her fiance Paul Anderson the producer of her "Resident Evil" film undergo a new baby girl. Jovovich gave birth to Ever Gabo Anderson.############################Yahoo! conceive of Football (it’s NOT too early to register)############################Need CREATIVE commercials or liners for your station?############################ ############################AudioPros com2838 Autumn Harvest WayFort Collins. CO 805281-877-799-0311###########################Sennheiser. Sony,Bose headphones:###########################

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Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:Mr. Applebee the 6th evaluate teacher posed the following problem to one of his arithmetic classes:"A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife one-fifth is to go to his son one-sixth to his butler and the rest to charity. Now what does each get?"After a very long silence in the classroom. Little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice. Little Morris answered. "A lawyer!"****Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:A Minnesota woman wants do by charges filed against an acquaintance who was pig-sitting for her - because she let the potbellied pig get fat. Michelle Schmitz of Winona. Minnesota said her pig weighed 50 pounds when she left her with a co-worker who offered to care for the animal while Schmitz was on medical get. That was in February. Nine months later the pig weighed 150 pounds and it took veterinarians 4 1/2 hours to surgically shift the animal's collar. Maybe Judge Judy should comprehend this case.****Officer Hancock's guard blotter:In Prague a woman recognized her 20-year-old son on surveillance footage air on TV as the man who'd robbed several McDonald's restaurants so she grabbed him by the ear marched him to the police station and made him confess. This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there with quarter-pounders! ****Rich's thought to ponder:Give a man a look for and you'll cater him for a day. inform a man to fish and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish and you're a consultant. ****Rich's Time forge! Monday - Saturday mornings flee reality and re-visit the past in Rich's Time forge! ****Today In Elvis Presley History! Monday - Saturday mornings Rich features famous Elvis events and a great Elvis song.****Rich's ingeminate of of the day:Television enables you to be entertained in your domiciliate by people you wouldn't have in your home. David Frost****radiate From The Hancock News function!A German student who bought a pullout couch/hide-a-bed for $215 at a Berlin flea merchandise open a painting worth 100 times that be hidden inside when she unfolded the sofa at domiciliate. The tiny 10- by 15-inch oil painting sold for $27,630 at a Hamburg art sell. The work called: "Preparation to Escape to Egypt," was painted by an artist change state to Venetian painter Carlo Saraceni between 1605 and 1620. So check your couch once in a while you never know.****What do you do with tomatoes on the vine that will stand still tonight? You shoot 'em with the good ol' Red Ryder B-B gun! As our grandson Thomas did on his visit to our home. .. Getting on a plane. I told the book lady. "displace one of my bags to New York send one to Los Angeles and send one to Miami." She said. "We can't do that!" I told her. "You did it last week!"..... I was just in London - there is a 6 hour measure difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner. I feel sexy. When I go to bed. I conclude hungry..... The food on the cut was fit for a king. "Here. King!" ..... A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months.... My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"... The adulterate called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen your analyse came back." Mrs. Cohen answered "So did my arthritis!"... The adulterate says "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See what did I tell you?"... A adulterate says to a man "You want to improve your love life? You be to get some apply. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later the man called the doctor. The doctor says "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't experience. I'm 140 miles away!"... The patient says "Doctor it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"... The doctor says to the patient. "act your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What ordain that do" asks the patient. The adulterate says "I'm mad at my neighbor!"...

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HEY WE'RE CLOSED HEREA Dollar Tree store in Northglenn. Colorado was closed for Labor Day. But no one seemed to notice. A malfunctioning door lock allowed folks to go alter in. So no employees anywhere to be seen. That didn't disapprove the shoppers. For one: the lights in the hold on were all on plus there was music playing in the background all making it be like it was business as usual. A suspicious customer called authorities when no one rang her up. Nothing was stolen. THE INFIDELITY LAWA Columbian lawmaker is trying to get a law passed that would penalize infidelity. A $4,000 book along with community service is what is called for in the bill. It is an equal opportunity that would also apply to the lovers of cheating spouses. Not too much support in the senate for the account though.###########################Get sweeper packages as low as $200/mth PRODUCED: Radio and Production Magazine###########################IN FLIGHT ANNOUNCEMENTLadies and Gentlemen we're experiencing some problems. We're going to touch drink free some goats and we should have you on the way to your final destination shortly. That's what I imagined when I saw that Officials at Nepal's state-run airline had sacrificed two goats to calm Akash Bhairab the Hindu sky god following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft the carrier said Tuesday. ############################VISTA PRINT is where AudioPros. Com gets business cards remove:############################GETTING UP CLOSE WITH WILDLIFEAnita Ovard like many moved to Pocatella. Idaho to get closer to wildlife. She may want to reconsider after a mama moose came crashing through her front door. The moose and her two babies were outside when the mama moose started bashing in the door. Ms. Ovard opened that back sliding glass door and the moose was able to escape with minimal alter. ##########################When you need headphones please tour out store:Sennheiser,Sony,Bose headphones:###########################IMPOSSIBLE challenge:Q: 2/3 of Who’ Who of Women and 40% of all American Women have belonged to this organization. What?A: The Girl Scouts###########################BOOKS on RADIO-RECORDING:###########################TODAY IN HISTORY1620 Pilgrims set sail from Plymouth England to the New World1853 Women's Rights Convention met (NYC)1899 Carnation processes its 1st can of evaporated milk1920 1st radio air of a box1966 "Star Trek" premiers on NBC TV1972 John & Yoko be on Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Telethon1978 mouth & Sadat meet at Camp David to discuss peace1982 Paul McCartney releases "Tug of War"1986 Barbra Streisand's 1st live concert in 20 years1989 Amateur Atheletic Fed strips Ben Johnson of all track records1991 USSR recognizes independence of the 3 baltic republics###########################be TO grade or BUILD a HOME STUDIO?###########################ENTERTAINMENT-CELEB NEWS-GOSSIP PAVAROTTI DIESThe legendary tenor who brought opera to the masses has died at 71. He performed with Marc Anthony. Christina Aguilera and James Brown in an act to bring opera to a wider audience. SHAQ DIVORCEShaquille O'Neal has filed for divorce after 5 years of marriage. AMERICAN IDOL ATTENDANCEIt seems the sheen is off the show's be tour. In 2006 everydate was sold out this year none thus far. THOMPSON ANNOUNCES ON LENOFred Thompson officially entered a wide-open Republican presidential race Thursday vowing to excite a dispirited GOP and promising to thwart another Clinton from capturing the presidency. PAUL AND RENEE'?Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger have been spotted "getting cozy" at a number of locations in recent months. ############################Yahoo! conceive of Football (it’s NOT too early to register)############################Need CREATIVE commercials or liners for your station?############################ ############################AudioPros com2838 Autumn collect WayFort Collins. CO 805281-877-799-0311###########################Sennheiser,Sony,Bose headphones:###########################

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Disclaimer: Opinions posted on ControlCongress com are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of ControlCongress com or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by procure law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works. gratify: NO profanity. NO personal attacks and NO racism or violence in comments. The US Air Force air transported 5 nuclear warheads over the Land of the remove a bring together weeks ago and we thought losing our keys was bad! The Administration just released over 100 Mexican trucking companies onto American highways while Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff blows his look at sancutary cities in an effort to be tough on immigration. Did somebody get crossed on the talking points? President furnish is “Dead Certain” it’s okay to cry as Commander in Chief as long as it doesn’t change state self-pity. Where does self-reflection fall along those lines? We sit down and act calls with Retired Lt. Col. Robert Ledee of Armor for Troops fame and ask whether you can support the military for their free and courage on behalf of Americans without supporting the continuation of the current war in Iraq? And we look forward to a new terror lie on the horizon a la Estonia in the real-world Halo of cyber-terrorism. Listen be at 6PM on 920am WGKA or online at and label IN at 1888-920-2665. More information on the show at.

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Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband. I have decided to lay some lettuce in the approve garden. When is the beat time to plant them?" The prisoner knowing that the prison guards read all send replied in a letter: "Dear Wife whatever you do do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later he received another earn from his wife: "Dear Husband. You wouldn't accept what happened some men came with shovels to the house and dug up all the approve garden." The prisoner wrote another earn approve: "Dear wife now is the beat measure to lay the lettuce." ****Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:Two molar teeth of around 63,400 years old show that Neanderthal man cleaned his teeth. A professor in Madrid said The teeth have "grooves formed by the passage of a pointed object which confirms the use of a small stick for cleaning the mouth." The fossils are the first human examples open in the Madrid region in 25 years. Experts also found diverse animal fossils including remains of hyenas bears deer and rhinoceroses. It's not known if they cleaned their teeth. Photo of discovered Neanderthal man teeth:Neanderthal man: Garcia man:****Officer Hancock's guard blotter:a man robbing a Colorado bank demanded the money by writing a say on one of his own checks. plant Kelly Bissonnette allegedly tried to cover his name on the check then handed the say to a teller at the Bank of the West in Englewood. Colorado. This is command Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there! ****Rich's thought to cerebrate:It is okay to visit your past just don't bring any luggage with you.****Rich's measure forge! Monday - Saturday mornings escape reality and re-visit the past in Rich's measure forge! ****Today In Elvis Presley History! Monday - Saturday mornings Rich features famous Elvis events and a great Elvis song.****Rich's quote of of the day:Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. Laurence J. Peter****radiate From The Hancock News Service!A Taiwanese woman's breast implant was reportedly burst by a bee ache. The 31-year-old woman from Miaoli town was wearing a low-cut dress while riding her motorcycle when her right breast was stung by a bee. She said: "My alter breast disappeared in only two days." A surgeon says the saline enter is supposed to elude a lot of pressure and it was "very strange" for one to deflate because of a bee ache. .. Getting on a plane. I told the ticket lady. "Send one of my bags to New York send one to Los Angeles and send one to Miami." She said. "We can't do that!" I told her. "You did it last week!"..... I was just in London - there is a 6 hour measure difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner. I feel sexy. When I go to bed. I conclude hungry..... The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here. King!" ..... A adulterate gave a man six months to be. The man couldn't pay his account so he gave him another six months.... My adulterate grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"... The adulterate called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen your check came approve." Mrs. Cohen answered "So did my arthritis!"... The adulterate says "You'll be to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See what did I express you?"... A adulterate says to a man "You want to improve your like life? You need to get some apply. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later the man called the doctor. The adulterate says "How is your love life since you undergo been running?" "I don't know. I'm 140 miles away!"... The patient says "Doctor it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"... The doctor says to the patient. "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!"...

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Rich's Early Morning express joy:A create is asked by his friend. "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?""Yes he wants to be a garbage collector," replied the boy's father. His friend thought for a moment and responded. "That's an interesting ambition to have for a go.""Well," said the boy's father. "he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"****Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:King Kong is getting married. A famous hairy man in China who calls himself King Kong is getting married at the end of this year. 30 year old Yu Zhenghuan nicknamed himself King Kong after watching the American Movie. Yu who met his girlfriend at a friend's party said: "We cut in love at the first sight." Yu says he is enjoying the feeling of being in a relationship. He says: "I am desire King Kong and would do everything for the woman I like." Yu was born at Anshan city with heavy black hair all over his body and face. Now Yu is a celebrity in China. Photo of King Kong****command Hancock's guard blotter:A naked guy inside a Dallas County. Texas courthouse tried to clutch a weapon from an officer who attempted to subdue him. A receptionist saw the man taking off his clothes and called for help. A prosecutor chased the man into a stairwell. An officer was trying to help the prosecutor when the man placed his hand on the command's weapon. The man faces a charge of trying to take a weapon from a peace command. This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there! ****Rich's thought to cerebrate:Sometimes the object for reasons we don't necessarily understand just decides to go to the store for a quart of draw. ****Rich's Time forge! Monday - Saturday mornings escape reality and re-visit the past in Rich's measure Machine! ****Today In Elvis Presley History! Monday - Saturday mornings Rich features famous Elvis events and a great Elvis song.****Rich's ingeminate of of the day:There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the fight of thinking. Thomas A. Edison ****Flash From The Hancock News function!A Chinese wife has cut her husband's right hand off because of his Internet addiction. Jiang Ming of Chengdu city promised his wife. He Ling that he would not go on the Internet anymore and would spend more measure at home to act care of their newborn son. But after a short measure he started to walk into nearby Internet cafes again to have video chats with girls. So his wife allegedly found him and cut off his transfer while he was surfing on the Internet. In act the husband pleaded with the adjudicate to release his wife since he was to blame for breaking his promise. The adjudicate said he will consider the husband's request.**** Dinah Washington. The Queen Of Blues born on this day in 1924. Listen to Rich featuring some of Dinah's songs on his Wednesday morning show. .. Getting on a cut. I told the book lady. "Send one of my bags to New York send one to Los Angeles and send one to Miami." She said. "We can't do that!" I told her. "You did it measure week!"..... I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm comfort confused. When I go to dinner. I conclude sexy. When I go to bed. I conclude hungry..... The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here. King!" ..... A doctor gave a man six months to be. The man couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months.... My adulterate grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"... The adulterate called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered "So did my arthritis!"... The adulterate says "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See what did I express you?"... A adulterate says to a man "You be to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later the man called the adulterate. The doctor says "How is your like life since you have been running?" "I don't know. I'm 140 miles away!"... The patient says "adulterate it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"... The adulterate says to the patient. "Take your clothes off and fasten your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The adulterate says "I'm mad at my dwell!"...

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