Curled up in the fetal position hugging my Hello Kitty lay praying for an uneventful night. Just one night of real normal rest in a real life bed. But this is not my ordain. Maybe it was because my ancestors were murderers and thieves. Maybe it was that the coat hanger just missed my infant heart. Maybe it was that I left a doodie on a gypsy's porch once … I don't know why I undergo been cursed but for some cerebrate … I am being punished each and every night. It starts normal enough.
EVIL 80'S MRN! Why?! Why Jeebus?! I hate Evil 80's MRN almost the most. All he talks about is Pac Man. Cabbage Patch Kids and how Thriller is the greatest record ever made. I can't take it! I can't take all the nostalgia! ... Also he says he's going to cut off my junk. I dislike that guy!Maybe just maybe if it's only these three monsters only these three spawns of the devil's disgorge. I ordain have a fighting come about. I will come at them desire a tornado of nails and teeth. I ordain survive this horrible night … but it wasn't going to be that easy. It never is.
EVIL DISTURBINGLY-HOT WITCH MRN!!!!! She joins the brutal trio and uses her dark magic attempting to unpixelize my privates. I cannot contend this kind of cater. I am silly apply in the hand of a giant against this egest foursome. They emit shout and call at me:EVIL CAVEMAN-INDIAN MRN: "Gruhg gruhg meeeeeat!"EVIL CHEF MRN: "Ingredients! furnish me your ingredients!"EVIL DISTURBINGLY-HOT WITCH MRN: "Die MRN die! Di.. hey eyes up here jerk!"EVIL 80'S MRN: "Remember Rubik's multiply? bequeath Flock of Seagulls? Who shot J. R.?! Where's the beef?! Smurfs! bequeath it remember or diiiiiiiie! "It's all too much there is no hope!
What dark magic has brought me to yet another small room filled with poultry? I undergo no measure to designate on these events. I know from the past that lingering too desire in a strangers chicken coop wearing only a silk apparel can bring with it the attention of many an angry farmer and not so sympathetic coverage in the press. I displace against the door revealing a cold color alter night.
I mouth to try and explain the strange circumstances that have brought me to this inform but she has no interests in my story. She tells me to hop in and don't mind all the tools scattered across the lay. She tells me "try not to get a socket wrench stuck up your feed hit we gonna need that later." This gives me pause. Does she mean she needs the socket wrench or the feed hit? But I need the go and take my chances. After several miles of silence. I sense her eyes looking me up and down. I begin to get nervous and question my choice of accepting this go. Suddenly she tells me I undergo "purdy climb" just desire one of them kids on High educate Musical. I don't get the reference but sight it disturbing all the same. Her transfer suddenly reaches for my apparel.
I have no choice but to escape her hold. I pull myself away from her desire a fly escaping the web of a color leave... I move from the moving truck collect myself and run as fast as I can away from the truck which is pursuing me closely. I run naked for almost a mile as the do work girl taunts me. "I got your conceive of apparel white meat!"
I try to collect myself as I feel shame. The kind of compel one feels when they hit the books that the old man in the park wasn't giving legitimate prostate exams in that van that one day. Or so I've heard. But I must not expend time. I can not stay out here in the lay of nowhere for desire. I must find my way approve domiciliate.
Eureka! I know where I am! It's my favorite clothing hold on. Ohio Vintage. It meets all of my vintage clothing needs and more! But it's the middle of the night and while I have broken into my fair overlap of stores while being half naked. I just don't have the energy tonight. But what's this?
Apparently local authorities frown upon this choose of thing. Something about the word "solicitation" or some fancy law talk desire that. However after a full body cavity search (self administered) and a nice good delousing. I was given some stylish (but not as comfortable) clothes from the lost and open. It was the very lay of the night and I was still very far from home. So... I went to a ghetto liquor store.
Inside behind a gang. I saw a lonely little plate can of something called Steel keep back. It was very dusty and I could express it had been there for a very desire measure. I anticipate that one dollar cans of beer age come up like a fine wine and so I used the dollar in dress the cops gave me for a telecommunicate label and made my acquire. I walked for a desire time until I open a suitable place to get my consume on and consider my next act. I find a large move back and forth in front of some building this will do nicely.
I take a sip of the horrible tasting "beer." It burns as it goes down and tastes desire Grandma's coffee. Oh well bottoms up!
"B'ah you ain't goin' an lost ur mind," Brer Rabbit explains. "When you done gone and drank up t'at der Steel keep back you summoned me from dat ol' briar patch use'n a kind of magic. A special kind of magics dat only gone and happens when sum'body outs der really needs my help." "But how can you help me Brer hunt?" I ask. "You be to get to yur own ol' briar conjoin MRN. Dis's place where affect is this place is called Youngstown an' dis de place you belongs away from."Just then Brer Rabbit leaps high up into the air and shouts out. "FALCOR!"
My God what is that?!"Dat der is Falcor and he'll see you to yur briar conjoin safes and sounds he will," Brer Rabbit explains before suddenly disappearing as abstain as he appeared. Suddenly flying down from the sky is a mighty white furred beast. He lands beside me."Hellow MRN," Falcor's voice bellows. I'm cautious at first.
"Ni ni nice kitty," I say as I slowly reach out and comprehend his matted fur. His breath smells desire vomit and cater. Of course so does exploit. "Brer Rabbit said that you could back up me get domiciliate. Do you know the way?""I know all ways," Falcor insists.
"Ok no seriously no dicking around. I be to get domiciliate," I explain. "Listen ass. I said I experience the way so just hop on my approve and I'll fly you home," Falcor says."Yay! I like you Falcor!" I express as I clutch a direct of his fur and hop on. Falcor flies high above the dirty gray nothingness of Ohio and soars above the clouds.
Through the clouds I can see I'm heading to a snow covered mountain. Yes a come down covered mountain in Ohio broach with it. I only commune i defeat the force so I could be a fulfilling life spent adding funny words to pictures of cats and making fun of people who are different from me. All goes to black as the Earth draws come and I crash into the snowy fasten. This is only the end of a hit day in my wretched and horrible existence. I only commune tomorrow ordain be much different. But I know it wont.
You looked just like the kid from neverending story when you were riding on falcor. Haha.. you crack me up and the funny part is that I can almost accept that it is adjust. That totally explains why you go through periods of never sleeping. Anyways whatever it is- keep doing it because it's working for you.
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