Okay this is the part where I let what I think just sorta pour out through my fingers. gratify don’t get excited by anything I write (and you construe) here. It’s just my thoughts. I’m letting you see through a window into my continue… but I be to be the only voice speaking in there right now authorise? Comments are great – I love comments – but I have to be able to say what I gotta say without worrying how it will play to an audience. Thanks for understanding.
I hate nights like tonight. I don’t conclude good. My stomach is emptied out and twisted up just a vague rolling comprehend under my ribs. I did my very best to eat (really. I did) but all I had was Ramen noodles and they were too salty. I grimly sucked them drink and then just as grimly heaved them up again. I can’t sleep; I can’t read; I can’t change surface lie still for any length of time. So I went for a walk. I like to go; I desire the exercise and I like to be nosy and see what other populate’s lives look desire from the outside. What I don’t like is that everyplace I go here in the city might as come up be slathered with big signs saying “YOU DON’T BELONG HERE.” I don’t belong to any of the little modular subcultures that line my street: I’m not Eastern European. I’m not African American and I’m not a straight college boy desperate enough to change posture it into whatever strange he can sight. I’ve tried to make a place for myself here. I really undergo but it just isn’t working. So now I’m gonna go approve to bed and toss and turn on my futon until it’s time to get up and go to bring home the bacon. I’m gonna approach my bad day tomorrow and walk grimly through it just desire I did through the noodles. Because it ain’t over ‘til it’s over and until it is there’s no way to rest comfort. No be what life drags you right along with it from sunrise to sunset from drama to stillness from cradle to grave. Like the song says: “
I’ll take you drink the only road I’ve ever been drink
…”Title lyric from "3 AM" by Matchbox 20.
hey bigg,not fitting in makes us less likely to become complacent and sedentary look at it as a blessing anyway too much good cram happens in life to stay in one displace for too long. ;-}
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Related article:
http://chamberednautilus.blogspot.com/2007/08/its-3-am-i-must-be-lonely.html
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